100 Seasons
by Namaste
Summary: The third season, according to each of the supporting characters, in drabbles. Wilson is up now to complete the set and the story, with Cuddy, Foreman, Chase and Cameron chapters also complete.
1. Cuddy

_Author's Note: While doing a season's worth of drabbles from House's POV under the title So It Goes it struck me that each character would have had a different perspective on each episode. So I decided to play with that, again in drabble form, 100 words on their take on each episode. I'm starting with Cuddy._

_Meaning_

Cuddy hates it when she cries. She tells herself that she's gone toe-to-toe with billionaires without flinching. She's told patients that they're dying, and done it with compassion and dry eyes. She's consoled mothers and daughters alike. She's always done her crying in private.

But she finds herself shedding tears as she watches a man she doesn't even know embrace his family. They're not for him, but for House,who has always known how to make her cry: in anger, in joy, in frustration, in sorrow.

She slips into her office before anyone can see her and closes the door.

---

_Cane & Able_

Wilson knows best, Cuddy tells herself. Most of the time, that's true, but now she's not so sure. She wants to believe it, believe that he's right and somehow they can clip House's wings, bring him under control. Wilson thinks he'll be happier somehow, able to find solace somewhere beyond his skills.

Cuddy pictures caged birds, unable to fly, unable to do anything more than make pitiful hops on the ground and stare out at the sky they no longer own. House is meant to soar, to mock everyone still on the ground with feats that are beyond their understanding.

---

_Informed Consent_

She gets it, she really does, this attraction House seems to have despite his rumpled clothes, unkempt appearance and harsh words. Cuddy felt it the first time she saw him, simultaneously appalled by his behavior, stung by his criticism and intrigued by the man behind them.

It's that self-confidence, the way he's sure he knows more than you -- drawing you closer so you can learn his secrets.

But she's not that infatuated student anymore, She's his boss. She's the only one with any chance of keeping him in line. She takes a breath, braces herself and walks into his office.

---

_Lines In The Sand_

"He needs this," Wilson says.

Cuddy believed him last time, followed Wilson's advice into disaster. She's not not sure why she should trust him this time, afraid to make another misstep.

She doesn't know why House would want that carpet. She hates that stain, and can't walk into the diagnostics office without staring at it, trying hard not to.

It's House's blood, but her failure to protect her staff, her people, him. She calls the carpet company, expecting them to say they've already tossed the piece they removed, but it's still there, and she tells them to bring it back.

---

_Fools For Love_

Cuddy stares at the strip on the home pregnancy test. Another test, another failure. She's beginning to wonder if it's worth it. She doesn't want to add how much money she's already spent on this, and for what? She finds it hard to explain to herself why she wants a baby, why she thinks the time is right, but she knows it is. She's glad House never asked -- and that no one else has ever found out.

She stands up, tosses the test in the trash. One more time, she promises herself, one more time. Maybe this time, it'll take.

---

_Que Sera Sera_

Cuddy knows the routine: House insults someone, that person lodges a complaint, she placates the person. Sometimes that means making House apologize, and she'd set up a meeting, expecting the usual reluctance and mumbled words from House.

There was something different this time. House wasn't just annoyed with the man, and the man -- Tritter, she reminds herself, Detective Tritter -- isn't the forgiving type. Something else happened in that room, but House won't say what it was.

She pleads with House to call the attorney. He can make it all go away, she tells herself, and this will all be over.

---

_Son Of A Coma Guy_

This is what House does, this insanity. Induce a seizure, just to prove that he can. Load up a patient in a vegetative state with a chemical cocktail, expect him to wake, and he does. Expect that patient to rise and walk, and he does.

He calls from Atlantic City with hypothetical questions, already knowing the answers, then changes the equation when he calls back, saying the guy killed himself.

No one else can do what House does, because no one else is this crazy, and Cuddy thinks that one of him is enough, but they need at least one.

---

_Whac-A-Mole_

Wilson doesn't deserve this. Cuddy wants to tell him that she'll fix everything. She doesn't. She does make a call, contacts someone in the prosecutor's office.

"It's crazy, I know," he says, "but the DA's up for reelection. He's trying to make a splash, and thinks Tritter can help. Our hands are tied."

She buys Wilson a sandwich and coffee, and is glad he doesn't ask her to take sides. Maybe he knows what she'd say. Cuddy likes Wilson. He's a good man, and an asset to the hospital. But he can be replaced, and there's no one like House.

_---_

_Finding Judas_

She was wrong.

Wrong that she was ready to raise a child.

Wrong about how to treat this child.

Wrong about how to care for her.

Wrong about how to comfort her.

Wrong about what was wrong with her.

Wrong that Tritter's presence wouldn't turn the hospital upside down.

Wrong that he'd see reason.

Wrong about House.

That's the hardest part, Cuddy thinks. She thought she knew him. Thought she knew how to handle him. Thought she knew what he would do. Thought he would understand what she was doing, and would go along with it.

But she was wrong.

---

_Merry Little Christmas_

Cuddy doesn't trust her own instincts anymore when it comes to House. She's screwed up too many times. She advised Stacy that she was making the right choice. She thought she could keep both Vogler and House in line. She'd believed Wilson that House would benefit from a lie.

When Wilson comes to her this time with a deal already in hand -- one that he's sure will save House despite himself -- Cuddy shakes her head. She doesn't think it will work, but doesn't know what else to do. She doesn't have another plan, so finally she nods, and quietly agrees.

---

_Words & Deeds_

She'll lose everything if she's caught. She'll lose her job, her friends, maybe her license. She'll go to jail.

She's going to tell a lie, but has no doubts. For the first time in weeks -- in months -- she knows she's doing the right thing. She knows she can end it all.

Cuddy swears to tell the truth, knowing she won't. She takes her seat and looks at House. He's pale from the detox, and she thinks she sees new lines on his face. He seems to be bracing himself for the next blow, but it won't be coming from her.

---

_One Day, One Room_

He lied. He fooled them all. House takes a pill and stares Cuddy down, daring her to stop him. He knows she can't. She's not sure if she could -- or would.

The Vicodin could kill him. She knows that. So does he. But it has a purpose. It's the lesser of two evils: pain and addiction.

So she ignores him as he flaunts his habit, and turns to his sense of loyalty. He owes her, they both know it. She'll make him do what he doesn't want to, because it's good for the hospital -- and, she thinks, good for House.

---

_Needle In A Haystack_

She'd almost forgotten about House's parking spot in front of the building.

Most of the year, House rides his bike, and ever since what he calls: "the incident with those goddamned pigeons," he's parked it inside. The garage is further from his office, but there are a half-dozen spots set aside for motorcycles, and he seemed happy there.

When Cuddy sees his old clunker parked out front during the first snowfall, she remembers to check the distance before she moves his space, figuring it won't matter to him.

She watches him wheel down the hall, realizing that it does matter.

---

_Insensitive_

She doesn't care about House, Cuddy wants to tell her date, at least not like that. But she doesn't say anything, since she doesn't know how to explain what it is she does feel about him.

Frustration? Absolutely. Anger? Often. Pity? Not that she'll ever let him know about.

House touches something in her no one else does. He challenges her, makes her want to prove that she can keep up with him, that he has no power over her. And yet, he does, and she knows it. She closes the door behind Don and watches the fire burn down.

_---_

_Half-Wit_

Cuddy lies awake after House leaves, wondering what will come next, whether Wilson has some trick up his sleeve, her heart refusing to believe they can't find some miracle -- some unheard of treatment -- just like House has done so many times before.

When Wilson slouches into her office the next day, she catches her breath when he shakes his head.

"He what?"

"He didn't think anyone would find out."

"He's not that stupid, is he?"

Wilson shrugs. "Apparently."

But Wilson seems neither mad nor relieved. He's worried about something else, he says, something just as hard to treat as cancer.

_---_

_Top Secret_

Sometimes she wonders if that night belonged to someone else, some other person with her name, her face.

She took him on as a dare.

"Admit it Cuddy," he'd said, "I scare you."

She wasn't scared. Not of the sex. Not that her roommate would find them in that dim bedroom between campus and the hospital. Not of him, and his oversized personality that left everyone around him living in his shadow.

She was scared she was actually falling for him, and that she wouldn't be able to walk away. If it'd lasted longer than one night, she wouldn't have.

_---_

_Fetal Position_

Cuddy can feel the blood coursing through her veins. She's become hypersensitive to everything -- every sound, every smell, every color. She feels invulnerable. She's been awake for 36 hours, but she doesn't feel tired, doesn't feel hungry. It's like a drug, this sensation, knowing that she was right.

She understands now, what it's like for House. She knows now how his pain seems to fade away when he's caught up in a case. Solving a puzzle isn't just a mental game. It's a physical one with its own reward, and she can imagine that this is what addiction is like.

_---_

_Airborne_

Cuddy still feels lightheaded as she follows House's wheelchair out into the main terminal. She knows the symptoms she's feeling are being driven by her mind, not a virus, but her brain has been slower to respond than she'd like.

Instead, she ignores the symptoms, tries to will them away as the inconvenient reminder of her own overactive imagination and jet lag from the flight that's lasted too long. Usually that imagination usually helps her come up with solutions to the problems brought by patients, and regulations -- and House. Now she just curses it, and steadies herself against the wall.

_---_

_Act Your Age_

Wilson almost seems shy as he shows her the tickets.

"If you want," he says.

Cuddy has seen him when he's looking for a date. She'd seen him when he was first dating Julie. He was confident then, smooth. He knows what he wants, and what to say and do to get it.

"No pressure," he says. "I got tickets at the last minute."

"Why me?" She wonders if House is behind this, some joke at her expense, but then tells herself that while House would pull a prank like this, Wilson wouldn't.

Wilson smiles. "I thought you'd like it."

_---_

_House Training_

Accidents happen. Even the best doctors make mistakes.

House comes to her in her office, his face still, no bravado, no jokes. He sits opposite her desk and takes the blame.

"It was my decision," he says. Even his cane is still, and it looks as if he doesn't have any energy to spare.

Cuddy suspects there's more to it than that. She's already heard from the nurses that Foreman was blaming himself, but this isn't the time to argue about fault.

"What do you need me to do?"

"Wait," House says, "and get ready to sweet talk the family."

_---_

_Family_

If Foreman worked for her, Cuddy thinks, then stops herself. He does work for her, but more importantly he works for House.

House is a lousy manager by any standard. He derides his fellows. He mocks them. He pushes them just to see if they'll push back. He's led them into burglary, and taught them not to trust other doctors, just what they see for themselves.

Foreman knew what he was getting into. House has a reputation for both his medical skills and his behavior, and everyone who studies with him knows the price they'll pay to become better doctors.

_---_

_Resignation_

"He's afraid of turning into me," House says, and Foreman doesn't deny it.

Cuddy has Foreman's paperwork in her hands. She's wished him luck. She knows he has a promising future. But she's not thinking about Foreman when she goes back to her office. She's remembering Andie, who managed to squeeze out another year of life because of House, and Senator Wright, who's been making headlines and campaign stops in Iowa and New Hampshire.

She thinks of Alfredo, who's still alive, and his brother who's still in school.

She finds Foreman. "There are worse things to turn into," she says.

_---_

_The Jerk_

"We wouldn't need another diagnostics team if House worked a normal workload, like the rest of us."

Cuddy expected Williams' objections. He and House have a rocky history, and since Williams joined the board, he's made that clear. Cuddy doesn't try to win him over. She concentrates on the other board members.

"Dr. House has brought renown to this hospital," she says, "but he can't handle every case referred here."

"Can't, or won't?" Williams asks.

Cuddy ignores him. "A second team would be valuable." She sees a few heads nod, and knows she can make House -- and maybe Foreman -- happy.

_---_

_Human Error_

Cuddy hears about Chase through the grapevine - a resident who saw him cleaning out his locker, who mentioned it to the head of the ICU, who asks if Chase is available.

Cameron stops by Cuddy's office on her way out, to give her the news directly.

"Now what?" she asks House when she finds him in the conference room.

"Hire someone else," he says, "maybe a redhead this time."

She shakes her head, praying this isn't a symptom of something darker lurking inside his mind.

"You've got two weeks," she says, "then I'm giving your staff funding to the clinic."


	2. Foreman

_Author's Note: I suppose I should give the disclaimer here that views expressed by the character Foreman are not necessarily those of the author. Let's just say that in writing from his perspective, it became clear that Foreman made more mistakes than misdiagnosing Lupe this season._

_-----------_

_Meaning_

Foreman watches the slight movement of his patient's toes. For a moment, he has a fleeting memory of his father reading the scripture in front of church one day.

"Rise up and walk," he thinks to himself, but hears his father's firm, low baritone rather than his own, softer voice.

He smiles and opens his mouth to give her encouragement, but stops when he finds himself struggling to remember her name. "Yoga girl," he thinks. This time he hears House's voice in his head. He shakes his head slightly, and reminds himself that he's neither man. He's his own man.

---

_Cane & Able_

House says nothing about the limp that's returned. He refuses to acknowledge what they all see, so Foreman won't talk about it either. House is an idiot, who finds fault in everyone but himself, he thinks. He doesn't wish the pain on anyone, but sometimes finds it hard to spare any sympathy for the man, for any reason.

House has been taking his foul mood out on Chase, so Foreman keeps quiet, and lets him shoulder the brunt of it. He's surprised Cameron hasn't pressed any unwanted pity on House, but Foreman can't worry about that now, so he doesn't.

_---  
_

_Lines In The Sand_

Foreman can remember a time when he used to care aboout why House did things. A time when he thought that he could actually make sense out of the chaos House caused. Now he just sighs and goes along with whatever House wants. It's easier that way.

He waits for Adam to finish his game. At least Adam has a reason for his obstinance. House is just an ass, who sees people as nothing more than puzzles or toys he tosses away once he's bored with him.

For a moment, Foreman wonders what will happen when House tires of him.  
_  
---_

_Informed Consent_

How can a healthy man understand what it means to die? To know what it's like to fight for just one breath, then the next and somehow know that you're winning a battle no one else can measure?

How can a sick woman know every nuance of a doctor's language? To translate his code when he says that they'll make you comfortable, and interpret that it means that there's no hope?

Almost no one knows what it's like to live with death, and almost no one understands the medicine. Foreman knows enough about both to know he doesn't know enough.

_---_

_Fools For Love_

Foreman has O Positive blood, the same type as both his patients -- husband and wife, brother and sister. He thinks he could point that out to her, tell her about how blood means nothing.

He has a brother only thirty miles away, a brother he never sees, a brother he never talks about. They come from the same genetic soup, but that means nothing.

Family isn't about blood and muscle and bone. Sometimes family is only something to break away from, something to leave behind. And sometimes the family you choose is stronger than the one you're given at birth.

---

_Que Sera Sera_

Chase's seat is empty and Foreman waits for House to track Chase down, to yell at him, humiliate him for playing hooky. Instead he only shrugs and goes back to his puzzle.

Foreman swallows his anger and does his job -- and Chase's job. He runs samples and tries not to think about how Chase uses charm, a smile and minimal effort. Foreman knows Chase isn't as bad as others, but he's still the golden boy, like so many others of the privileged elite he's encountered before.

Chase doesn't appreciate how good he has it, Foreman thinks, and starts another test.

---

_Son Of A Coma Guy_

Foreman has seen too many people like House before. He's never pretended to like him. He's felt sorry for him sometimes, even respects his ability. But the man is an ass who uses people like he uses pills.

He's seen people like Tritter too, hiding their insecurities behind a badge -- the class bully rewarded with power and position.

Tritter thinks the world would be better without people like House, and he tries to make Foreman pick a side, to turn against House, but Foreman has already picked. He may not like House, but he hates guys like Tritter even more.

---

_Whac-A-Mole_

House is wrong. The kid will do the right thing, Foreman thinks. Jack's just tired, sick, and in pain. In a week from now -- a month maybe -- once he's had some rest, he'll step up, tell them he's ready.

Foreman ignores the thought in his head that Jack isn't that strong, that no one is. Instead, he tells himself that Jack will be the one to bring his family back together.

If this kid can't do it, then maybe no one can. Maybe no one's family has a chance. Not even his, and Foreman doesn't want to believe that's true.

---

_Finding Judas_

In eighth grade, Eric stood up to the school bully. He bloodied the kid's nose before one of the teachers broke up the fight. Eric came home with a note for his parents and his left eye swollen shut.

That night he'd stared at the bruised flesh in the mirror and smiled. He wasn't just another fat kid any more. He felt older. Experienced. Different.

When Foreman sees Chase's jaw it's already swollen and discolored. Chase shoves some papers into his bag. He's angry, but for a moment Foreman thinks there's something else there, some emotion he can't quite define.

---

_Merry Little Christmas_

Wilson and Cuddy are huddled just outside House's office, trying to convince themselves that they can still make this stupid plan work. But Foreman's seen House. He's seen the bright eyes, the twitchy movements, heard the run-on speech patterns that are over the top even by House's standards.

He's on something. Probably not Vicodin, Foreman thinks, but they shouldn't be surprised that he got his hands on something.

An addict is an addict, no matter how smart they are or how much money they make. Foreman shakes his head, and wonders how long it'll be until they all learn that.

---

_Words & Deeds_

"Uncle Eddie's been ... sick," Mama told Eric when he saw his uncle. The man was thin and shaking and sat in a corner of the living room, looking like it took all of his energy just to breathe. Eric was scared to get too close to him.

Mama wouldn't say what was wrong with her brother, but smiled when she said he was getting better now. "He's going to be just fine."

When Cameron says they should go find House, get his ideas on the case, Foreman shakes his head. "House has more important things to deal with," he says.

---

_One Day, One Room_

Normal is waking up in his bed, just before the alarm goes off.

Normal is black coffee and a bowl of cereal.

Normal is pulling into his parking spot, and seeing the guard nod at him when he walks by.

Normal is taking his lab coat out of his locker, and putting it on.

Normal is walking past the ICU room where he was a patient only a year ago.

Normal is being the one standing over the bed, not lying in it.

Normal is good, Foreman tells House. Tell the girl that everything can be normal again. In time.

---

_Needle In A Haystack_

"I got a chance to scrub in on a surgery," Wendy's voice tells Foreman on the answering machine. "Sorry to cancel at the last minute. Hope you don't mind."

Foreman erases her message and starts making dinner. With the night on his own, he can finally catch up on his reading, he thinks.

He likes Wendy, even cares for her, but Foreman tells himself that he's not like Stevie. He doesn't need to be surrounded by people. Foreman's always known he could do great things, and he isn't about to let anyone hold him back, even people he cares about.

---

_Insensitive_

Wendy's wrong. He's nothing like House. He just wanted to help her. She doesn't understand he'll miss her, but for some reason he can't bring himself to apologize, to ask her to stay, to ask her to forgive him.

If what he has with Wendy couldn't survive a few years of grad school, it wasn't meant to be. It's better to know the truth about that now, rather than drag it out, and see them both suffer.

That's how he's different from House, he thinks. House would only bask in misery, and probably enjoying dragging someone else down with him.

---

_Half-Wit_

Foreman crumples his tie into a ball and throws it across the room. It flutters briefly, then lands softly on the floor. His eyes are scratchy and red, and scream for him to close them for at least an hour or two, rest.

He's too wired. Too angry. Too pissed off to even sit still. He mumbles House's name and wishes he had something he could hit.

He changes into a track suit and heads for the gym. Maybe if he can work off his aggression on some weights, he won't actually hit House the next time he sees him.

_---_

_Top Secret_

So this is what he's come to -- all those years of school, of residency and fellowships, and here he is checking some poor guy's credit records.

The first time Foreman wanted to quit was when Marty reminded him of how much easier it had been starting a conversation without worrying about setting off some verbal land mine.

When he got sick, he was almost relieved by the thought he'd have to step away from treating patients. It was the perfect excuse.

Problem is, as much as Foreman wants to leave, he knows he can't. He has too much to learn.

---

_Fetal Position_

Foreman watches Cuddy, sees the crazed look when she says she wants to drown Emma and her baby in corticosteroids. It's a look he's seen too often. House is an infection, making everyone believe that insanity is a normal option.

He watches the surgery from above, sees Cuddy face House down, her insanity topping his for once.

Foreman wonders if that's what he'll become before he walks away, or if he can hang onto the man he was before he slipped into House's orbit. He's not sure which person -- which doctor -- he wants to be, or which he should be.

_---_

_Airborne_

Cameron shakes her head and says Chase left without an explanation.

"He got this look on his face," she tells Foreman. "You know the one."

She doesn't say it's the same expression House has when he gets some off-the-wall idea, something that always seems to pay off. Foreman sees it and knows he's made some jump in the thought process, something that leaves them all behind.

Foreman thinks if he studies those moments, he can do what House does, can finally understand it, measure it, quantify it, learn it. What House does isn't magic, he tells himself. It can't be.

---

_Act Your Age_

Foreman rolls his eyes at the sound of Chase and Cameron sniping at each other. Again. He's beginning to think it was better when they were sleeping together. This, he thinks, is why he doesn't date coworkers.

Sure he's dated nurses, doctors, pharmacy reps, pharmacists. He even took up a heavy flirtation with the wavering trophy wife of one of his professors back in Baltimore. But there's always fallout when work and pleasure mix too much.

He starts another test and reminds himself to leave his personal life -- his history -- at the door when he walks into the conference room.

---

_House Training_

It's dark. Foreman didn't notice the sunset, but now it's gone gray inside his living room, punctuated by narrow shafts of light coming through the blinds from the street lights, and darker gray in the shadows.

He's been sitting there, on the couch, since he got home. Since Lupe died. Since he left Mom. Since Dad claimed everything would be fine.

Foreman isn't so sure. He isn't sure of anything anymore. Everything he'd thought he could count on -- his skills as a doctor, his family, himself -- everything is gone now.

All he has left is the dark, and the shadows.

---

_Family_

It was so easy to block it all out -- the sound of Matty's screams, the way his body trembled beneath his hands, the muscle quivering at his touch. All he could think of was how to save someone who was already lost, holding the boy still, clamping the restraints down tighter before he picked up the needle again, plunging it deep into the wriggling body, past skin and muscle and the "pop" as he punctured bone.

Foreman had even smiled when he saw he'd collected enough marrow. He'd been happy. Pleased with himself. Satisfied.

That's what scares him the most.

_---_

_Resignation_

It's easier to tell himself he won't miss anyone. He won't miss his apartment, or his crappy parking space, or the locker door that sticks. Foreman noticed scratches on the lock one day. He could never prove it was House who tried to pick it, but no one else would want to get inside.

Foreman has a fleeting thought that he should give House a lock pick as a farewell present. He smiles at the idea, then stops and shakes his head. He puts his C.V. in the envelope, seals it and puts it in the mail for New York.

---

_The Jerk_

"I'm sorry, Dr. Foreman, but I wasn't expecting you." Dr. Myers holds out his hand to shake Foreman's. "I was told you canceled, that you weren't interested in the job after all."

"No," Foreman says, "no, I ..." He can picture House, a stupid smile on his face, thinking he's playing a game, and Foreman's just a pawn on the board. Foreman takes a breath, tries to control his anger. He still needs to make the right impression.

"There must have been some misunderstanding," Foreman says, and even manages a smile. "Perhaps we can reschedule, if you still have an opening."

---

_Human Error_

"I need you," House says, but before the words have even settled in the air, he's calling Foreman a selfish bastard.

Foreman turns and walks out without another word. He's said his goodbyes. He's given House the only explanation he could.

A year from now, maybe two, he'll hear some story about House from some other doctor, maybe see another paper in another journal on some breakthrough. Hell, the way House is going, it could just as well be his obituary.

"Yeah, I knew House," he'll say then. "The man was a genius, but you wouldn't want to be him."


	3. Chase

_Meaning_

In the elevator, halfway between the ER and the OR, Chase realized he was praying. He couldn't remember when he'd started, but the words were there, floating through his subconscious with a steady assurance that was as much a part of his training -- and himself -- as how he adjusted the pressure bandage against House's abdomen.

Faith and science.

Now he sees House walking, without a cane, without a limp. Chase wants to call it a miracle, but won't. House would only reject the word and credit medicine. Chase isn't going to argue. And he'll never tell House that he prayed.

---

_Cane & Able_

Chase's mother loved science fiction -- movies, TV -- it didn't matter. He'd hear that whistling theme from the "X-Files" echo through the house as she turned up the volume.

Of course now he wonders if maybe she only liked it because his father hated it.

"That's not science," Dad would grumble, then close the door to his office.

Chase loved science fiction because Mum loved it. He believed, because she believed.

Chase doesn't believe Clancy is actually being abducted, but the part of him that remembers watching movies in dark theaters with Mum back in Melbourne can't ignore what he says.

---

_Informed Consent_

Make a choice, make a decision. House goads Cameron in the other room. Foreman ignores them. Chase looks over the tests, but listens to the mumble of voices coming through the door.

He made his decision a long time before Ezra Powell showed up. He made it before he met House.

"It won't do any good to put her on a transplant list," Dad had said.

"But why does she have to suffer?"

"It isn't for us to question God's decisions," the monsignor said. "Just believe that he knows what is best for us."

Chase shook his head. "I can't."

---

_Lines In The Sand_

The first week Chase worked for House, he saw House steal a meal tray from an unguarded trolley in the hall.

"The guy's unconscious. Doesn't mean good food should go to waste."

"Define good," Chase said. He caught a glimpse of a smile on House's face before House turned away.

The second week, he got his first burglary assignment.

The third month, he learned why House should never be the one to confront a patient.

"Stop whining. It's not as if you're dying."

When House mutinies until his carpet is returned, Chase doesn't ask why. House has done stranger things.

---

_Fools For Love_

Chase has heard of couples with perfect marriages. People whose eyes met and knew in an instant that they'd found their soul mate.

He hasn't actually met any of them.

He doesn't agree with House that everyone lies, but he wouldn't be surprised to discover that everyone cheats. His own parents were just one example.

Find any couple, and you can find a flaw. Maybe they can find a way to work their lives around that flaw, or ignore it completely, but it's there even if they don't see it yet. And sooner or later, it's going to destroy everything.

---

_Que Sera Sera_

At first Chase sits in the conference room, expecting House to order him to double check some test, or do his clinic hours, or get him lunch.

When that doesn't happen, he leaves, decides to take in a movie. He smiles to himself when he thinks of what House's reaction will be when Chase does precisely what he'd told him to do.

He doesn't actually pay attention to the plot scrolling itself across the screen. Instead, he keeps waiting for his beeper to vibrate, to see House's number there. When it doesn't, he's not sure what he should do next.

---

_Son Of A Coma Guy_

"Need you to write me a script," House says the first time. He asks without embarrassment, without explanation.

Wilson is out of town, due back in another day, and Chase realizes that House must have had a bad weekend, taken more Vicodin than he'd expected.

He figures House knows what he needs, and trusts his judgment. Besides, his life is easier when House is happy. He only asks for the dosage level and amount, and hands over the paper.

It's three months until the next time Wilson is gone, and House just tosses Chase's pad to him.

"Refill," he says.

---

_Whac-A-Mole_

Chase doesn't look at Wilson when Wilson leaves the room. Chase feels guilty -- guilt by association as he sits at the table and runs through the possibilities with House.

No one says anything, but Chase catches Cameron's eye, sees that she wants to go after Wilson. She stays because House told her to stay. Foreman won't even look at him.

Chase wants to believe that House will somehow make it right, but he's afraid to admit the signs he sees every day, the signs he used to see at home, every time his mother shut him out, sent him away.

---

_Finding Judas_

At first, Chase is too shocked to react, to think about what House has done. He feels the sting of the hit, the cold floor tiles under his body.

Later, he can't stop thinking about it. He replays the moment in his mind, seeing House whirl and swing, falling to floor in slow motion. He doesn't want to explain it away, to excuse House's reaction. House has no excuse.

Cuddy tries, Wilson tries, Tritter is trying, but no one can control House. Chase understands that now, and decides it's time to take control of the only thing he can -- himself.

---

_Merry Little Christmas_

Chase wants to believe that House is sorry when House asks about the bruise, but he reminds himself that it doesn't matter what House says, or what House does, or even if House apologizes.

Despite everything, despite himself, Chase still kind of likes House -- parts of House, anyway. The parts that are relentless in finding answers, that craves speed, the part that doesn't care what others think.

But he knows nothing will ever make House happy.

Chase has a new set of priorities. Learning how to see and understand things the way House does is on them. Pleasing House isn't.

---

_Words & Deeds_

"I'm going tomorrow," Chase says, "to the hearing."

"Why?" Cameron looks up from the chart.

"Moral support," Chase says.

"After everything that's happened? After everything House did?"

Chase nods.

"He hit you," Foreman points out.

"I know."

Cameron puts down her pen, stares at Chase. "So ... why?"

"Maybe what he's done matters," Chase shrugs. "Maybe what I do matters even more to me."

Cameron shakes her head and turns back to the chart. Foreman only nods, then stares out the window into the darkness.

After ten minutes, Foreman returns to the table, sits next to Chase. "I'm coming with you."

---

_One Day, One Room_

"Trust your father," Mum told Robert when he asked why he couldn't go to the same school as his friends. "He knows best."

"Listen to your mother," Dad said when Mum didn't want Robert to join the rugby club. "She's a wise woman."

"Let's talk to her doctor," Dad said when Mum ended up at the hospital again. "This isn't my specialty."

"Talk to God," the monsignor said as Chase pondered leaving the seminary. "He'll guide you in the right direction."

There was no guidance, only more questions.

"There's no wrong answer," Chase tells House, "because there's no right answer."

---

_Needle In A Haystack_

It had to happen sooner or later. Chase's heart beats faster, and he senses Cameron urging him out of the room, but he doesn't go. As the adrenaline kicks in, he sees details more clearly -- the ring on the man's hand, the anxiety on the woman's face which has nothing to do with the strangers at the door.

The puzzle pieces he wasn't even looking for slide into place, and suddenly he can see a plausible explanation in front of him.

It isn't the right one, but for a moment he understands why House always wants to know every detail.

---

_Insensitive_

Chase easily ignores Foreman's thinly veiled insult that Chase will do whatever House wants and instead concentrates on what they can do to short circuit House's demand for the nerve biopsy.

He has a snatch of a thought. Once he would have ignored it, waited for someone else to come up with some better idea. Now he begins thinking out loud, building on that one thread until a plan comes into shape.

He doesn't know if he's more surprised by the fading skepticism from Cameron and Foreman, or the fact that somehow he knows exactly what they should do next.

---

_Half-Wit _

House isn't some substitute father figure. This isn't an attempt by Chase to save his own father -- or mother -- by somehow finding a way to save House.

This is simply what House taught them to do, to follow up on every clue, to focus on whatever doesn't make sense. And none of this makes sense. House isn't going to be taken down by a run-of-the-mill tumor, like a normal person. House's death will be of his own making.

Chase stares at the bright spot on the film, and tells himself whatever it is, they'll find some way to fight it.

---

_Top Secret_

Chase follows Cameron into the empty room, ignoring every rule of common sense he's ever known.

She's surprised him. Again. For more than a month, she's shown him sides of herself that he didn't know she possessed. She pushes boundaries and pushes him, and he follows her every time, curious about what new thing he'll discover.

When they're together, she becomes someone no one has ever seen before and Chase wonders if this is some new aspect of herself that she's just trying on for the first time, or if the Cameron everyone else sees has always been the disguise.

---

_Fetal Position_

Chase takes another look at the photo, then slides it between the pages of a magazine, slips the magazine into a side pocket on his bag and zips it shut. He doesn't want to explain himself to Cameron if she finds it. He knows that she won't like any explanation he'd give.

Chase knows the rules: no emotional commitment. So he hasn't asked her about her family, about growing up. But he remembers the brief comment she made about her brother. He's studied the photos on her wall. He's learning more every day, and now wants to know even more.

---

_Airborne_

One moment, Chase is looking down at the patient, talking to Cameron, somehow knowing everything is wrong.

The next, Chase almost feels like he's back in that little house, feeling the hardwood below his feet changing over to the soft texture of the carpet in the bedroom, the bedsprings moving under his back as Cameron pushes him down, seeing the cat staring back at him, as if it knew everything -- every secret -- and Chase just didn't understand what it was trying to tell him.

Then he's back in the observation room, Cameron still next to him, and he finally understands.

---

_Act Your Age_

The smart thing to do is to let Cameron go, to watch her walk away. But Chase is tired of taking second place, of letting others make the rules he'll have to live with.

He let his father do it, until he left Australia and Rowan's brand of medicine far behind.

He let House do it, until House struck out at him, and Chase stopped waiting for a pat on the head that would never come.

Chase stands in front of the flower case in the lobby gift shop, and decides it's time to stop letting Cameron make the rules.

---

_House Training_

We all did this, Chase thinks as he pauses outside Lupe's room, the blinds closed.

Foreman wants to take the blame, refuses any offer to talk, saying he'll have to live with it. House shut himself off in his office, opening the door only for Wilson.

But they aren't alone. Foreman made the suggestion, House agreed to it.

And Chase ... Chase knows that it's not what he did -- it's what he didn't do. He should have said more, argued the call. He's told himself he'd finally learned something about trusting his judgment. So why didn't he trust it this time?

---

_Family_

Chase doesn't tell Foreman that he still sees Kayla nearly every day.

She haunts his dreams, raising from his subconscious in unexpected places: sitting at the kitchen table while Mum makes breakfast, appearing as the drowning woman struggling in the waves when he was five, once even replacing Cameron in her own bed. He'd sat awake for the rest of that night, watching television and ignoring his exhaustion.

Foreman wants to believe that somehow Lupe was different, that his reaction is unique.

It isn't. The only thing that's unique is that it happened to Foreman this time, and not Chase.

---

_Resignation_

Chase watches House as he tries to wave off Foreman's resignation with a joke, and realizes that House is lying, just like Foreman was. There's something else going on, something neither of them will talk about.

He wonders if House knows how much information he gives away through his eyes, through the slight movement at the corner of his mouth, through the tone of his voice. But maybe that's the real purpose for the jokes, for the outrageous comments, Chase thinks. Maybe every word is just an attempt to stop people from paying close attention to what he's really feeling.

---

_The Jerk_

It's like following a trail of crumbs through the forest, like Hansel and Gretel, and Chase is trying to figure out who's the wicked witch at the end of the line.

He tells himself he doesn't care who set up Foreman. He doesn't feel obliged to make Foreman feel better. Of course if Foreman really wanted to leave, he'd be doing the mental gymnastics himself. Instead he's only brooding.

So Chase does it instead.

He's ruled out Cameron, followed her trail to Wilson, then back to Cuddy and finally to House who's denied everything. Then Chase smiles. But everybody lies.

---

_Human Error_

Chase stares at the box on the floor, filled with papers, books, an old ping-pong paddle. Maybe if he looks at it long enough, some answers will come to him: about why House really fired him, about whether he's ready to move on, about what comes next.

He ignores the phone, but when he hears House's voice Chase is just one of Pavlov's dogs, responding to his training.

Chase is surprised to find himself smiling at House's comment when he hangs up. He thinks maybe he should be angry, but he isn't. Maybe that means something. Maybe it all did.


	4. Cameron

_Meaning_

In the first months of their marriage, Brian was still on chemo.

Allison learned the pattern: the days after treatment as he began his slow descent, the days he couldn't eat, the days he'd manage a few bites as he regained strength.

But there were also the days between treatments, when he felt nearly normal and tried to squeeze in everything from long dinners to a day at the beach.

Cameron watches House gliding back and forth on his skateboard, and wonders why that image of Brian -- happy, but knowing it wouldn't last for long -- keeps flashing through her mind.

---

_Cane & Able_

This is wrong. They're wrong. Cameron fights every urge to run down the stairs and follow House out to the parking lot, to show him Richard's file, to tell him he was right, that he was right all along.

She can't understand why they'd hold back the information, what they hope to gain. Cuddy and Wilson mumble something about humility, about how they're doing this for House's own benefit.

Cameron shakes her head. She doesn't understand -- or maybe they don't understand what they're doing. But they've known House longer, and she can only hope that they know what they're doing.

---

_Informed Consent_

Cameron stares up at the empty pulpit and the stained glass. She's not sure why she came here, why she's looking for meaning in this place, from a god she doesn't believe exists.

She can still feel the soft leather of the pouch taken from House's desk, the coolness of the syringe, the smooth surface of the glass that held the morphine as she drew it out. When she closes her eyes she sees the faint smile on Ezra's face as the drug entered his system.

"I'm proud of you," House says.

She wishes she could say the same thing.

---

_Lines In the Sand_

It was nearly a week after the shooting before they were allowed back in the conference room. Cameron stood looking down at the uneven splotch in the center of the room until Chase stepped in front of her, blocking her view.

"He's OK," he'd reminded her, and she'd nodded.

Cuddy said she'd ordered new carpeting, and asked them to make do for now. They all learned to avoid the spot, stepping around it in some kind of macabre dance.

Cameron studies House as he moves from room to room -- everywhere but their office -- and wonders what dance he's doing now.

---

_Fools For Love_

"How're you going to stop me?" House asks.

For a moment Cameron thinks that there's nothing she can do. House is in charge. It's his case. They're his patients.

All her life she's done things the right way, the proper way. She's followed the rules, obeyed her teachers, obeyed her parents.

House doesn't do any of those things. House doesn't respect the rules. He listens to no one but himself.

Cameron takes a breath and remembers what else House has said, about standing up for what you believe. Maybe he's daring her now, to take her stand. Maybe she should.

---

_Que Sera Sera_

See the world through your patients' eyes, they said in med school. Empathize with them. Understand them.

House wants to know everything, but only because he's curious, not to identify with them. George tells Cameron he doesn't care what anyone thinks about him. He says he's happy with his life. She can't see how.

House has never claimed to be happy about anything, and sometimes Cameron can almost believe that.

Cameron wants to understand both men, but can't. She sees only glimpses, and just hopes that the future for House won't be as dark as the one waiting for George.

---

_Son Of A Coma Guy_

"I'm Dr. Wilson." He'd stood and held out his hand when Cameron met him. Wilson had led the interview. House's only comment was to ask why she hadn't been first in her class.

"Second place is useless," he'd said, "but fifth is even worse."

Cameron was sure she'd screwed up, that she wouldn't get the post, but Wilson called the next day to offer it to her.

It's Wilson who's always there, translating for House, explaining him, excusing him, easing his way.

So why, Cameron wonders, would House have stolen Wilson's pad and forged a prescription? It doesn't make sense.

---

_Whac-A-Mole_

Wilson glares at her from across the room, his mouth clamped tight. Cameron doesn't blame him, but wants to tell him to go yell at House, to take it out on him.

She's heard them argue before, their voices cutting through the glass walls and past the door. This time he doesn't say anything, just bites back on his anger, tries to swallow it down. She's not sure why, but wonders if it's because he's waiting for House to be the one to make the first move this time. She hopes she's wrong, but doesn't think that's going to happen.

---

_Finding Judas_

Tritter thinks House has changed Cameron. He's right.

She's not the same person who walked into his office for that interview. She's not the same person who showed up the first day to find only Chase and an unopened stack of mail in the trash. She's not the same person who thought House could change, if only he had the right person to help him.

Cameron's not always sure who she is now, but she knows she's not the person she was, and knows that's a good thing. The person she was wouldn't stand up to House, or to Tritter.

---

_Merry Little Christmas_

Cameron is surprised by her own anger when it comes out, then finds she can't hold back. Wilson is the one who did this. Cuddy helped. Just like before. Just like every crappy plan of theirs.

They think they know House. They think they know what's best for him, think they can control him. Last time that was enough for Cameron. She let them make the decisions.

This time she isn't keeping quiet. It isn't about proving she's right and they're wrong. It isn't even about House -- not completely. It's about standing up for what she believes. House would understand.

---

_Words & Deeds_

"Pay attention to the nurses," one of Cameron's attendings once said. "They know everything that's happening."

It was true. They knew which patients were hiding something. They knew which members of the family were the best to approach in an emergency.

They were the first to know every piece of hospital gossip.

Sometimes Cameron wondered if the real reason House didn't trust nurses is that he knew how hard it would be to hide secrets from them.

It was a nurse who told her that House had actually apologized to Wilson, and a nurse who said that he'd meant it.

---

_One Day, One Room_

His breathing is shallow now, not much more than gasps, and sometimes a groan. He's hanging onto consciousness, and Cameron's eyes flick to the syringe still on the table, thinks about how it would make his death easier.

She wasn't there when Brian died, but her father-in-law had said he'd died easy, his pains quieted by morphine. It was morphine that Ezra begged for, to ease his death.

This man wants nothing easy, wants no comfort. He wants to remain a sharp and uneasy point in her memory. Cameron sits back, watches him breathe, and gives him what he wants.

---

_Needle In A Haystack_

"You'll be a great doctor," Brian told her, again and again during their golden summer together.

But once she was in medical school, she struggled in the middle of the pack. She knew that should have been good enough, but it wasn't. Not for her.

There was so much to remember. The words, the Latin, the symptoms, the diseases -- they tangled themselves into jumbled messes of letters and symbols. She stared at the anatomy chart: scaphoid, lunate, triquetral, pisiform, trapezium, trapezoid, capitate, hamate. She laughed when another student told her his secret: "Scared lovers try positions that they can't handle."

---

_Insensitive_

Allison's mother called it "making love." She lectured her daughters to save themselves for the man they loved.

Allison just rolled her eyes. She wasn't a virgin when she married, but she'd always been careful, always been good.

Chase had been ... a mistake, Cameron told herself. She'd let down her guard, let the meth sweep away her inhibitions. She knew better. But it had been fun.

She's not just her mother's daughter any more, not the widow, not the good girl. She's changed from the naive woman who first met House, she reminds herself. And she wants to have fun.

---

_Half-Wit_

"This is no good," Foreman says. "We know nothing."

"We know he has cancer," Chase says.

"Brain cancer," Cameron adds.

"Which is next to nothing," Foreman says. "Where's the tumor? What stage is it? What treatment is he getting?"

Cameron knows he's right. They don't know enough. She tries not to remember the way that Brian tried to disguise his worst symptoms, so she wouldn't worry. Instead she recalls how he'd relax, almost forget his pain as they lay together.

She looks up. It's a stupid idea, but the only one she has. "Maybe I can get us the blood."

---

_Top Secret_

Cameron knows it's wrong, but maybe that's what makes the idea so appealing.

She's been a daughter, a student, a wife. She's been a widow. Different roles, different names. But she's always been what everyone else expected.

For the first time, she's doing things on her own terms and it feels good. It's like a vacation away from the person she was, the person everyone expects her to be. She hadn't realized how hard it was being Allison Cameron until she stepped aside and let everything go.

She puts her feet up on the table, and waits for Chase's reaction.

---

_Fetal Position_

She thought she knew him.

House hates people, Cameron tells herself. He doesn't care about his patients, apparently doesn't even care about his friends.

So who is this person? She puts the photo up on the light board, wondering if a new angle can explain away the image she sees. There's a softness there she had convinced herself didn't exist -- a softness that even Stacy claimed didn't exist.

But there it is. Maybe it only lasted for a fraction of a second, caught by a fluke as the shutter clicked.

Or maybe nobody has ever really known House at all.

---

_Airborne_

Chase is startled when Cameron pushes him down onto the bed. She can see it in his eyes, the wondering, the curiosity, the questions that linger there.

But he doesn't ask questions. And he doesn't judge.

Cameron wonders if that's why it's been easy for her to push him for more, to get him to try things. She sees confusion just for a moment, then he blinks and seems to accept whatever she wants without hesitaton -- accepts her. It's so easy with him, so comfortable that Cameron finds herself falling into a state of happiness she'd never thought was possible.

---

_Act Your Age_

Cameron watches the door after Chase walks out, wondering if he'll come back, say what he meant by the note, by the knowing smile on his face.

It was easier when Chase had no demands. Cameron thought she'd had everything she wanted.

Then he changed the rules, and it was easier just to be mad at him.

This feeling is new and unexpected -- like the flowers that she holds in her hand -- and she doesn't know what it's supposed to mean. It's not what she had before, it's not what she's lost. It's something else, and she can't explain what.

---

_House Training_

When it happened to Chase, he went silent, sitting at the end of the table with a paper spread out in front of him, never reading, never turning a page, just staring at the newsprint.

Foreman can't seem to stop talking. He goes through the list of symptoms and tests again, as if repeating each word, each result, out loud will somehow change what happened.

Cameron wonders what her reaction will be. She knows better than to believe that she'll have a perfect record. No one does -- not House, not Wilson, not Cuddy, not Chase. And now not Foreman either.

---

_Family_

Cameron hates Tuesdays.

She knows that sometime, when they're alone, Chase will casually mention the day.

"I like you," he says, and claims he doesn't expect her to respond.

"It's just a reminder," he says, as if she could forget.

She doesn't know what he wants from her. She doesn't want a relationship, she just wants what they had. That was fun. That was nice. Why couldn't Chase have been happy with that?

Cameron ignores the voice in her head, asking why she wouldn't be happy trying it Chase's way. That voice never shuts up, and doesn't wait for Tuesday.

---

_Resignation_

Cameron leaves a message on House's phone, and waits for him to call her back. It's five minutes, then ten.

"Are you sure you called the right number?" Chase asks.

Cameron just glares at him.

She tries House's cell phone. No answer.

"Maybe he turned off his phone," Foreman suggests.

She calls his land line again. No answer.

"We should stop the steroids," Chase says.

"No kidding," Foreman says. "Then what?"

Cameron watches both Foreman and Chase, but neither of them have an answer. She grabs her coat.

"I'm going to find House," she says. "You two watch the patient."

---

_The Jerk_

Chase doesn't get mad when Cameron tells him she thinks he's the one who scuttled Foreman's interview. At first she thinks that's because he's guilty. But he doesn't act guilty, just casually mentions that it's Tuesday, and that he likes her.

Instead, he seems confident, as if he's figured something out.

She sees him later, leaving House's office. He's smiling.

Cameron used to think she knew who Chase was -- the fortunate son gliding by on charm and his father's connections. She doesn't think that any more. He's something different, something she didn't expect.

And maybe some Tuesday, she'll surprise him.

---

_Human Error_

"I don't want to be House," Foreman says.

"It's time for a change," Chase says.

Cameron studies the letter, her pen hovering over the empty spot where her signature should go.

She doesn't think she'll change into House if she stays, but she's already changed. And it's been good. She's stronger, smarter, more confident. She knows more about who she is. She knows she's a better doctor. She hopes that she's a better person.

"Take the good, and leave the bad," she'd told Foreman.

She can do it all: take the good, leave the bad, change.

Cameron signs the paper.


	5. Wilson

_Meaning_

"I'm fine now," he'd said.

"You don't have to worry," he'd promised.

"It won't happen again."

They'd believed him, because he was smart. Because he knew better. Because they cared about him.

He was wrong.

He wasn't fine. Not the first time. Not the second time. Not the third or the fourth. By the time his brother disappeared for good, Wilson couldn't help but worry about everything.

Now House says he's fine. He calls Wilson bitchy.

Then he says his leg hurt, but it stopped. He wants more Vicodin, and swears it's not a scam.

But Wilson can't stop worrying.

----

_Cane & Able_

The light is still on in Cuddy's office and Wilson stares at it, half fearing she'll kick him out, certain that she'll take out her anger on him for ever coming up with the plan.

He deserves it.

She doesn't say anything. For a minute, neither does he.

"He figured it out," Wilson says finally.

Cuddy shakes her head. "I told him," she says. "I had to."

"He figured out it was my idea. You didn't have to try to take the fall, you know."

"So what do we do now?"

Wilson sighs, shakes his head. "How should I know?"

---

_Informed Consent_

House stands there, one hand on the cane, the cane firmly planted on the floor, as if it had always been there, as if it had never left, as if the past two months had never happened.

He doesn't yell.

Wilson wishes he would. He knows how to respond to House's anger. This is something different. Something worse. It's something burning slowly -- the embers of everything House had hoped for glowing bright, every emotion simmering, building, getting ready to explode.

Wilson doesn't know when it will happen, and he's afraid of what that anger will consume once it breaks free.

---

_Lines In The Sand_

"It's because he's in pain," Cameron once said.

"It's because of the drugs," Foreman argued.

"It's because he hasn't solved the case," Chase said.

"It's because he's lonely," Julie guessed.

"It's because Stacy betrayed him," Bonnie thought.

"It's because his father is a bastard," Stacy maintained.

"It's because he needs a friend," Blythe said.

"It's because he thinks he's better than everyone else," John claimed.

"It's because he's a jerk," Cuddy says.

Wilson shrugs. He knows House isn't happy. Sometimes he thinks he knows why. And sometimes being his friend is hard enough, without trying to understand everything about him.

---

_Fools For Love_

The first time it happened, Wilson told House.

He doesn't know now what he'd thought that would accomplish. Maybe he'd just wanted to confess to someone, and couldn't bring himself to tell his wife yet that he'd cheated on her.

The next time, House figured it out on his own. And the next time. And the next time.

Wilson protests every time. Even when he says he's not interested -- he's not looking for anyone -- House points to every pretty woman and asks him if she's the next target.

Wilson doesn't want to admit to himself that sometimes, House is right.

---

_Que Sera Sera_

"Fifteen thousand dollars?"

"Yes."

"Fifteen thousand?"

"The price isn't going to go down just because you keep repeating it." Wilson hears an echo from House's side of the line and pictures him in a concrete block room.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing doesn't cost me fifteen thousand."

"Nothing illegal."

Wilson rubs his eyes and looks at the clock. "Then why were you arrested?"

House sighs. "It's a long story. If you want to hear it, it's going to cost you fifteen grand."

Wilson shakes his head. "Give me a couple of hours."

"Sure thing. I'm not going anywhere, apparently."

---

_Son Of A Coma Guy_

House lies, but he's quick to say that everybody lies, so Wilson shouldn't be surprised.

But sometimes, he tells the truth. It seeps out, slowly, like the drops coming one at a time from between rocks, exposing a hidden spring, a deep well of fresh, clear, pure water.

There's no way to tell when House will say something true, and pure, and unfiltered. Wilson knows you have to listen for it, to be prepared for when those words slip out, or you'll miss them, never see the spring hiding below the surface.

"I was fourteen," House says, and Wilson listens.

---

_Whac-A-Mole_

House always puts himself first, and Wilson always lets him.

"Why do you put up with him?" Bonnie asked, and then Julie. "What has he ever done for you?"

Wilson used to try to explain, to tell them they didn't understand. House cared, he'd tell them, I know he does.

Now Wilson doesn't care what House thinks, what he feels. House has turned his anger inside out, buried his frustrations and self-loathing so deep he won't even tell the truth to himself.

House is cutting himself off from the world, from everyone. And Wilson realizes he just doesn't care anymore.

---

_Finding Judas_

Wilson paces the length of Tritter's borrowed office. He's afraid that if he sits down, if he gives himself time to think, he'll call it all off.

But he can't.

House needs this. He can't survive -- and it isn't just the Vicodin. It's about pain, and being so focused on pain he makes mistakes, and House couldn't live with himself then.

Wilson has run out of ideas, and now House is running out of time.

Tritter holds out a printed copy of his statement. "Sign here," he says.

Wilson takes the page, reads it over. He takes out a pen.

---

_Merry Little Christmas_

Wilson wonders if this is what is sounds like when a friendship breaks. There's nothing. No sound. No light. Just silence.

He sits in his car, watching House's windows, watching for House's stumbling form to make its way past the windows. He should go in again. He should check on him. He shouldn't have left in the first place.

But he's gone numb. His soul has collapsed into a black hole, consuming every emotion, every thought, leaving only a specter of anger on the surface.

Wilson wishes this was a dream, a nightmare. But the nightmare is that it's real.

---

_Words & Deeds_

Wilson walks away from the cell, knowing he should be mad. House lied. Again, swept them all into his conspiracy. 

Wilson should be furious. He isn't. He's relieved. Happy. He feels lighter -- all of the pressures, all of the misery of the past months swept away by Cuddy's lies.

Nothing has changed, but this is a world that he knows how to handle. It's familiar. They all know its shapes, its hard edges, its frightening falls. Wilson knows he can't live in it forever -- and neither can House -- but it'll do for now, until he comes up with something better.

---

_One Day, One Room_

House is in the break room when Wilson walks in, spinning the foosball rods so hard that the ball flies out, bounces twice on the floor before Wilson scoops it up.

Wilson doesn't say anything, just mans the other side of the table.

He drops the ball in and plays. House's hands fly across the table, jumping rapidly from rod to rod, almost manic. There's no strategy to House's game, just speed, energy, anger and raw emotion that House usually tries to hide.

House doesn't stop to brag when he scores a point, just nods at Wilson.

"Again," he says.

---

_Needle In A Haystack_

Cuddy is the one who tells Wilson about the wager.

"He'll never make it," she says. "He's too proud to spend a week in that chair."

Wilson doesn't point out that House is too proud to give in that easily. And he doesn't say anything to House that Cuddy is nearly as stubborn as he is.

"Twenty bucks says she'll cave by Thursday," House bets.

He's better off this time on the sidelines. Let them have their power struggle. He won't pick sides. Wilson would rather save his energy for another battle -- something bigger than a parking space, or pride.

---

_Insensitive_

Wilson watches House walk through his office, the way he's leaning on his cane, the way his foot skims the carpeting because House is too tired to lift it any further than he has to.

House grabs his pack, and takes a little longer to straighten up than normal.

"How about Tony's?" House puts on his coat and pauses a moment before stepping away from his desk.

"How about someplace that hasn't been closed by the health inspector?" Wilson holds open the door and House passes through.

"They've reopened. If we hurry, we'll get there before they're shut down again."

---

_Half-Wit_

House doesn't share.

He holds everything tight: pain, misery, fear, depression. He's a miser with his emotions, as if he could somehow control his feelings by never exposing them.

Sometimes Wilson forgets how House hoards everything important. He wasn't surprised when he heard House was going to Boston, alone and under cover, rather than come to him for help-- disappointed, but not surprised. It would have meant giving up some secret.

But knowing that the tests, the trip, everything was just another lie, Wilson can see that House has let an even bigger secret slip out from between his fingers.

---

_Top Secret_

Is this how it begins? One system shutting down after another?

House is in denial. He won't admit that the Vicodin could finally be killing him, won't even ask for Wilson's help -- except to get more drugs.

Wilson writes the prescription, just as he still writes the prescription for the same Vicodin that's poisoning House. He tells himself that it's the only way House will take his help at all, and the only way he can monitor what's going on inside House's body.

Now that body may be shutting down, and soon even House won't be able to deny it.

---

_Fetal Position_

After the infarction, Wilson had sorted through House's desk, tossing everything into a box that he thought House could want during his recovery: magazines, old medical files, toys.

He found the passport in the center drawer. He glanced at the photo, then flipped it open to the pages in the back, and read the names of countries stamped there: Germany, Japan, Brazil, China, India.

When House tells him his vacation plans, Wilson thinks to himself that he'd be surprised if House goes anywhere. He's barely left Princeton for the past seven years. Then suddenly Wilson realizes that he hasn't either.

---

_Airborne_

Robin agrees to meet him at the coffee shop on the corner, and Wilson gets there early. He wishes he'd brought a file with him, or a journal, something to keep his hands busy.

He reminds himself that he's comfortable around women. He's always known how to talk to them, how to make them relax, how to make them feel good. But this isn't about comfort. It's about sex. It's about taking chances.

Wilson isn't very good at taking chances. He's always been the safe bet -- the solid choice -- but being safe isn't getting him anywhere. It's time to change.

---

_Act Your Age_

This is good. This is fun.

Wilson smiles as he drives back to the hotel after dropping off Cuddy. She'd smiled too. It was nice.

He smiles when he sees her the next day, and she thanks him again.

He grins when House leaves his table, both frustrated and baffled.

It's been too long, Wilson thinks, since he just enjoyed himself, since he simply relaxed. Since he laughed. Since he just had fun.

He stops, and realizes he can't remember the last time since he actually did enjoy his life. And that's something that scares him more than he'd imagined.

---

_House Training_

House doesn't say anything when he sees Wilson. He doesn't say anything as the hours stretch on, just accepts his presence. Wilson tells himself that's enough, that he can't force House to take any other form of comfort.

He's been here before -- more often than he wants to remember, less often than House's detractors would have anyone believe.

Wilson startles awake when the phone rings. House doesn't say anything to whoever's on the other end of the line, just hangs up and looks at Wilson.

"I need you to do something."

"Anything," Wilson says. He means it. He always does.

---

_Family_

House doesn't sign the note, just gives it to the clerk at the desk, and she hands it over to Wilson when he finally walks in just before midnight.

There's only an address, 813 University, and a time, 10 a.m.

Wilson stares at the note, crumples it up and tosses it in the closest garbage can.

He's still pissed at House the next morning, still mad as he leaves his office and heads out to his car. He tells himself he's crazy to expect anything from House as he walks into the store.

But maybe this time will be different.

---

_Resignation_

It's too bright. Wilson should get up, flip the switch. He doesn't. It's just like House to come in and turn on every light, leaving a harsh glare on every surface. House wants to see everything, and doesn't care if he exposes something that should have remained hidden.

Wilson started taking pills because he should move on, but can't. Because he's in a rut, and doesn't care. Maybe his attempts to fix House are just another rut, another excuse to not move on.

But right now, it's hard enough just to work up the energy to turn off the light.

---

_The Jerk_

Cuddy talks to him about House.

Cameron talks about House.

Foreman's the focus of hospital gossip, because of House.

Wilson wonders when House took over his life, and he became just another satellite in his orbit.

It's not that he resents House for being larger than life, for being who he is. It was that intensity that drew him to House in the first place. He doesn't even regret his place. It's nice there. Familiar.

But he can't define himself by House's moods forever. He doesn't have to give up House, but he has to find his own life too.

---

_Human Error_

"Did you really think I couldn't change?" House sits with his new guitar, idly strumming.

"I knew you were physically capable of it, but you don't like change."

"Neither do you."

Wilson shrugs. "No one does." He takes a drink. "You really just going to let them all go?"

"It's their time," House says, "except for Foreman. Maybe he'll figure that out before he kills someone else."

Wilson listens to the chords, watches House's fingers move across the fretboard as comfortably as on the old guitar. "Change suits you," he says.

He takes another drink. Maybe it'll suit him too.


End file.
